Throw em out there. I’d like to hear what you guys got this is a joke I adopted from my cousin
A blonde and a brunette are talking and the brunette tells the blonde that she slept with a Brazilian man and the blonde asked the brunette “How many guys is that?”
Tags: joke................., line, most, pickup, priceless
Heyy i lost my number can i have yours?
I lost my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his shiny new bike. The cop says to the kid, “Nice bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
The kid replies, “Yeah.”
The cop says, “Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike.”
The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket.
The kid takes the ticket and before he rides off says, “By the way, that’s a nice horse you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?”
Humoring the kid, the cop says, “Yeah, he sure did.”
The kid continued, “Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.”
is your dad a thief because he stole the stars and put them in your eyes..
are you an alien? because you’ve abducted my heart
is your dad a baker cuz your so sweet
Hay baby, I am a very lucky man!
Why just this morning I was looking for things in the cushions of my couch. like loose change, Cheetos or maybe some old Halloween candy.
Then WOW I found an entire BED!!! SCORE!!
So ya what to come by and check it out?? We could have some Cheetos and Halloween candy on my new bed?
How do you like your eggs in the morning scrambled or fertilized cause baby i can do both
Pick Up Lines:
Hey baby did you just break wind? Coz your blowing me awaaaayy.
If I could change the alphabet I would put U & I together.
Jokes:
A brunette says to a blonde – “Look a dead bird!” The blonde looks UP and says-”Where?” lol
A blonde came up to me and asked me what IDK means. I said- ” I don’t know.” She said-”Oh damn!” I said-”What?” She said -” Well nobody seems to know.
While out golfing one day, a young couple watched in horror as their stray shot crashed through the window of a nearby house. Rushing up, they saw a handsome man in a turban.
“We’re terribly sorry!” the husband said.
“We’ll pay for the damage” the wife added.
“Not at all” replied the handsome man. “I am a genie, trapped for thousands of years until your golf ball came through the window and borke the bottle that was my prison. Please allow me to grant you three wishes”.
The astonished couple asked to be adored and respected by friends. “It’s done!” cried the genie, snapping his fingers.
Then they asked to become rich. Clapping his hands the genie said ” I have set a standing order to put $5,000 into your account every month for life”. Then the third wish was that they asked to be scratch golfers. “third wish granted!” the genie said.
“How can we ever thank you?” said the husband.
“There is one thing before I disappear”, replied the genie. I have been imprissoned for thousands of years and I have forgotten what it is like to hold a woman in my arms. If you could spare your beautiful wife for a single night”.
The husband and wife talked for a couple of minutes and agreed that they could live with this.
After a night of passion, the young wife was about to leave and rejoin her husband then the genie asked her age. “Twenty-nine” she replied.
“I see”, he said “and you still believe in genies?”
man: hey is your name gillette
Women: no why?
man: because your the best a man can get
Why is Santa always so jolly?
Because he knows where all the bad girls live.
Hey I just realized this, but you look alot like my next girlfriend.
Do you have a Band-Aid ? Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
Is your name Summer ? Because your as hot as hell.
The word of the day is “legs”. Let’s say we head back to your place and spread the word.
aha